Alright, finally sitting down for another installment of chasing my calling with hard mental labor, in the form of studying for the GRE. And then the malaise hits. Suddenly playing Bejeweled, scrolling through Facebook/Twitter, calling a friend, getting a donut, cleaning my desk, or hacking through my ever-expanding reading list all sound way better than studying.
I know what will happen if I don’t: I won’t score high on the GRE or won’t take it in time, and if those don’t happen, I (most likely) won’t get into any of the grad schools I want and I’ll have to wait another year to apply again, which means putting off another year my dream of becoming a full-time English professor with benefits (yes, in this economy. I know the odds I’m up against.)
Every time I finally sit down to study (or do anything else productive), that stupid little mind-goblin is at the back of my thoughts, whispering that hey, it’s been a long week and I deserve a break, and I’ll have plenty of time next week.
Beating off that stupid little goblin is one reason I’m rushing through this blog post and not taking time to edit, so I can start afresh on the business of chasing down my dream, wrestling it to the ground, and riding it like a majestic ostrich across the sun-kissed plains of the savanna.